HE'S INTELLECTUAL, HE'S HOMOSEXUAL!

You may have already heard of and seen Queer Duck. It's the very witty and raunchy cartoon that has been on the Internet now for a few years. Originally on a small website called Icebox.com that promoted independent animators with a twisted sense of humor, Showtime noticed the cartoon and then started playing it along with its hit show Queer As Folk. The cartoon has become sort of a cult favorite, especially amongst gay men of course, who can relate to its central character and his many friends and adventures, although some may be offended by its stereotypes.

Now comes the DVD called Queer Duck: The Movie, which I just finished watching this weekend, and I must say, it is pretty funny. Like the original small shorts, the film pokes fun at all things gay and is a non-stop endless assault on Hollywood celebrities. Conan O'Brien, David Duchovny, Tim Curry, and even Mark Hamill (Luke Skywalker) do guest spots on the new DVD. It's worth a look. Interestingly and hilariously enough, I was told by my beloved bud that he's seen the DVD mistakenly placed in the kids' section at many stores. Parents who buy this unknowingly for their children are in for a big gay crude surprise; certainly animated, but not for the kiddies!

The voice actors (which have been doing the shorts since the very beginning), are pretty first rate including Jim J. Bullock (of Too Close for Comfort fame) as Queer Duck, and a slew of other fine talented people who give this small little queer cartoon lots of life.

Not as big as The Simpsons or South Park of course, but check out one of the shorts.

Each is only about four minutes long:

http://www.sho.com/site/queerduck/home.do

http://queerduck.icebox.com/

DIDN'T WE ALMOST HAVE IT ALL?

Congratulations are in order to Whitney Houston, a woman with a beautiful voice who has finally come to her senses! YES BABY! It's about damn time you divorced that asswipe Bobby Brown! ABOUT DAMN TIME! YEAH GIRL!

Mind you, I used to like Bobby at one time too back in the late eighties. But then I started hearing about all his drug abuse problems and his increasing negative influence on our diva Whitney. I mean, Whitney was given that amazing talented voice, and seemed to be on top of the world when she famously and gloriously sang the National Anthem at the Super Bowl sometime back in 1991. Even bigger success came to her with The Bodyguard. And like our current disaster Britney, once Whitney married Bobby, it all slowly but surely went downhill from there.

We're all hoping and praying Whitney can go back into that recording studio and make a comeback. Let's face it, she's got the goods to deliver. Some two years ago I believe, at the World Music Awards, Whitney went out on stage and delivered a performance so mesmerizing, it gave the audience there and me the TV viewer chills.

Crack was nice for a while Whitney, but time to get back to business!

DANIEL WAYNE SMITH.

OH GOD. AS MUCH AS I LOVE A GOOD TIME, TRAGEDY NEVER FUCKING ENDS.

I am absolutely shocked and upset at the death of Anna Nicole Smith's 20 year-old son Daniel this week. This comes at the most ironic time too, for she just gave birth to a daughter as well. Incomprehensible! The kid just died right at the very hospital where his sister had just been born a few days earlier!

I remember watching her silly and funny as hell show on E! a few years back, and there was Daniel, always in the background, so cute and quiet. He was just adorable! I feel terrible for his mother, who must be going through a rollercoaster of emotions right now at having just given birth to a girl and losing her one and only boy.

Looks like the cause of death may be drug related, but they're not sure whether it was due to prescription meds or recreational abuse. Or was it just a freak incident? We'll just have to wait and see.

Regardless, I feel absolutely awful for Anna and all mothers who have lost a child to whatever cause of death. My aunt's beloved only son just died last week, and I have yet to make the call to offer my condolences. My cousin is gone after years of therapy for an injury, and it must be just devastating for her and my uncle. He was only 32. Earlier this year, at my half sister's wake, I felt so terrible hugging her mom as she cried. It was the worst thing to have to do, and I broke down thinking how much pain she must've been in losing her daughter to that fucking cancer at 44.

To all moms like Anna Nicole, I offer you strength and the perseverance to deal with the emotional toll of losing a child. After all, we're supposed to bury our parents, not the other way around right?

But alas, that is not always the case.

IN MEMORIAM: FIVE YEARS LATER.

Whatever ideology it was that led to all of the horror of that day and whom you believe was ultimately at fault and responsible, the fact remains that close to 3,000 people lost their lives brutally. To their loved ones, friends, families, co-workers, and all who are still alive with the pain of those they lost, I dedicate this post and wish you and our country as a whole the strength to continue healing from this painful moment in our history.

I have heard and read so many insensitively say that the number killed on that morning was pretty insignificant, and that we really dodged a bullet that more did not get killed. I say to you: 3,000 is way too many victims; people who went to work as normal, and never returned home to their families or pets. I have posted here a disturbing but necessary clip of someone who died that awful morning, Kevin Cosgrove.

IF YOU ARE TOO SENSITIVE OR EASILY UPSET DO NOT LISTEN- (sound comes in after some 25 seconds of video footage of the attacks):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EE9TLgCVLBM

THE COUPLE FROM HELL! TV REPORTER SAVAGELY ATTACKED!

BOY, SOME PEOPLE JUST CAN'T SEEM TO ADMIT WHEN THEY'VE DONE SOMETHING WRONG! AND THEY BEAT UP <--THIS REPORTER TOO! FUCKHEADS! WHAT A LOUSE! AND THE WIFE SEEMS TO BE JUST AS BAD, IF NOT WORSE! SOMEONE OUGHTTA GIVE THAT BITCH A GOOD FIST SANDWICH! WOW! THIS FOOTAGE HAS TO BE SEEN TO BE BELIEVED!

(note: if first link below doesn't work for you, try the second link, on upper right hand corner of page for video)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8d98Vjuo3zQ

http://www.fox6.com/news/unit6/story.aspx?content_id=67522AFC-D21F-4497-8BFE-2A7F82DC0094

http://www.fox6.com/news/unit6/story.aspx?content_id=3D35A99B-F10A-45D9-91DB-7507B48FE677

"OTHER CITIES, MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A DORK!" --MADONNA

Okay. I'm an LA kind of dude. Born and raised totally on the West Coast. I know New Yorkers look down on LA, but both cities rule the country, so can't we all just get along? I'll write my in-depth analysis of Los Angeles (the second greatest American city) some other time though.

New York City is indisputably THEE greatest American city. Even though I have never been, we all know it, thanks to the incredible amount of attention it receives in the media; on TV and in countless motion pictures, who doesn't know its many world famous landmarks: the Empire State Building, Rockefeller Center, Broadway, Radio City Music Hall, Central Park, Times Square, The Statue of Liberty, the Brooklyn Bridge, and the list goes on and on. Ah yes, the Big Apple. Feels like we've all been doesn't it? In an ironic twist, many shows filmed in LA are supposedly set in New York City! Now that's saying something!

It sounds like an amazing place really. Heavy with traffic and people, on the constant go, and with an incredibly vibrant social and cultural scene, New York is most definitely the supreme American city par exellence. Howard Stern airs his show every morning from NYC, and I feel a connection of sorts with the place and their everyday colorful speech patterns.

Not that I don't worry constantly over Los Angeles mind you, regarding a terrorist attack or earthquake, but New York is extremely troubling to me. They brought down the World Trade Center (sorely missing from the skyline now) five years ago, and I often wonder when the city will be attacked by terrorists again, perhaps even nuclear terrorism since it is so densely and heavily populated. As recently featured on a National Geographic special I was watching, New York City is also at great risk for a Category 3 hurricane in the near future that would cause massive property damage and loss of life. YES, A HURRICANE!

I hope to visit this magnificent sounding place sometime soon. For now, here I am, on the West Coast.

Living vicariously in New York through our media as usual.

THE DEATH OF THE CROCODILE HUNTER.

This is already one big news story that just keeps growing.

Steve Irwin (better known as The Crocodile Hunter to millions on TV) was hit in the chest by a stingray and killed while making a documentary in the waters off of Australia. Unbelievable, and yet hardly shocking at the same time. The man did deal with some very dangerous animals, and was constantly putting his life at risk.

Already I'm reading some truly mean comments from certain people that say he once put the life of his baby in danger while feeding a croc, and that all he did was intrude on natural environments. Come on people! Give the dead man a break! He loved animals and was only trying to expose them to the world for conservation purposes. He sure was a little nutty, but obviously loved what he did, and died doing it apparently.

I feel so bad for his wife and two kids. She especially, must be devastated.

So R.I.P. mate.

A short but extraordinary life indeed.

SURF'S UP DUDE!

Jack Johnson has been around for some five years now, but it's only recently that I really started paying attention to his music ya know? A lot of his songs have the same sound or style, but he's quite good and very catchy. Born and raised in Hawaii of all places, he used to professionally surf, until he suffered some bad injuries apparently and he took up songwriting. Well whaddyoo know? He's made quite a good decent name for himself. And I can almost bet he's got a good set of groupies following him, because he just happens to be kinda good looking too.

Anyway, I discovered this hidden gem on his very first album Brushfire Fairytales, and I am impressed at the relative simplicity and lyrical wordplay of this fine fine song. I freakin' love this tune man! Please go to the link, have a listen and tell me whats ya think!

It's All Understood by Jack Johnson:

http://media.putfile.com/Its-All-Understood

I SPEAK. JE PARLE. YO HABLO.

More than one billion people on Earth speak Mandarin Chinese, but they all seem to be concentrated in China, as are the close to one billion that speak Hindi in India. And yes, millions speak Arabic, Russian, German, Portuguese, and Japanese as well.

However, the languages that seem to be pretty spread out across the globe and are to be found almost any and everywhere are: English, French, and Spanish. If you speak one of these tongues, you've already got a huge advantage over the rest of the population, due to the incredible influence and importance of these languages in everything from business, entertainment, to diplomacy issues. Interestingly enough, many of our place names in the U.S. are usually in these three languages, due to important historical colonial reasons.

Because of the rabid and golddigging Spaniards of the 16th century, great chunks of the world came under Spanish rule for more than 300 years, and their language now boasts some 400 million speakers worldwide. All across North and South America, Europe, certain parts of Africa and Asia, Spanish is an enormously popular language which exerts great influence due to its incredibly rich literary heritage and popular entertainment value. If you want to be a successful recording artist, you either sing in English, or Spanish I say! Even the United States of America, with its overwhelming English tradition, is now a major Spanish-speaking country, to the horror of purists and conservatives who now feel threatened by its popular growth. Brazil, the lone Portuguese-speaking South American country, has in recent years had to learn mandatory Spanish in school just to deal with all their neighbors. Sí amigo, el mundo de veras habla español: Yes friend, the world indeed does speak Spanish. The language of my family, many traditions, and of God himself (in my crazy mind); the language does hold a special sentimental place in my heart.

The proud and uppity French also colonized vast chunks of the world at one time, and now count some 270 million speakers of their proud tongue in Canada, Haiti, certainly throughout Europe, large areas of Africa, and some in Asia. A beautiful and gorgeous language indeed, but almost impossible to write, French was at one time the world's most important language for diplomacy and the educated elite. Its use as such has declined tremendously, but it still does retain some of its prestige and is the second most learned and studied language in the world. Glad I took four years in high school, and thanks to being so closely related to Spanish, I still remember lots of it. C'est la vie n'est-ce pas? Pleine de merde: That's life right? Full of shit.

Ah, but the granddaddy of them all, the language that now rules the world and has it firmly in its grip (but of course you say!), the language of Shakespeare, barely spoken by our President, and the one used in this and most blogs: that would be indeed, English. Out of the British Isles and heavily influenced by Latin, Greek, and French words, the Brits became the greediest people ever, taking over the world like no one ever before or since. The British Empire was the largest empire in human history and as such spread their royal tongue practically everywhere. Then came this little rebel called the USA, broke off from the UK, and went on to become the mightiest power on the globe, making English even more powerful than ever before. In entertainment, music, on the Internet, aviation, telecommunications, science, and diplomacy, English is now the world's greatest and most important language; which is why many English speakers become lazy to even learn other languages (why should they bother right?), when the world is desperately trying to learn theirs. Some 400 million native speakers, but a recent estimate claims about one billion total speakers, due to so many trying to learn it or speaking it somehow (even basically) all over the face of the Earth. English is found in the USA (of course), Canada, Belize, Jamaica, all over Europe, India, Africa, the Philippines, Hong Kong, Australia, New Zealand, etc. The sun never truly did set on the British Empire now did it? The Queen must be proud.

In the end, all languages have value, regardless of the number of speakers of course.

Yes, even Klingon.

ONE YEAR LATER: LA NOUVELLE ORLEANS.

One year ago tomorrow, that nasty horrendous & historic Hurricane Katrina hit the Gulf Coast and changed the lives of many there forever. I remember blogging extensively on it, worried to death that it would be really really bad as it approached the area, especially for New Orleans; a city I have partied hard in and enjoyed tremendously in the past.

My worst fears came true unfortunately.

I was watching all kinds of shows on the disaster this past weekend on cable and it was really sad to see just what happened there. There was incredible footage of some firefighters who amateurly taped the storm as it was barreling down on the Big Easy and the amount of rain was tremendous, but even more shocking was to see how quickly the city began to fill with water as levees began to break and the flooding got worse. Even after the storm has passed, the worst was yet to come, for as the water kept pouring in, it was now mixing with household cleaning chemicals, oil from local refineries, sewage, gasoline from parked cars, and all kinds of toxic crap! I mean, if ya didn't drown, you probably got poisoned to death. How bloody awful! And even after the water was pumped out, the houses got infested with nasty smelly destructive mold. This was a disaster that even one year later, we are barely beginning to comprehend.

Pretty compelling stuff! I hear Spike Lee came out with some documentary on this, which is quite graphic, and I dunno if I can sit through that one. Some 2,000 people were killed, but even that might be wrong because so many went missing and unaccounted for. This storm wasn't even as bad as it could have been (and that's saying something), for New Orleans wasn't even hit directly and the hurricane was a Category 3 by the time it reached land.

Government response was quite lame as we all saw, that dumb mayor was re-elected (God knows why), and the catastrophe only reiterated the urgent need for us all to be prepared for any kind of natural disaster or terrorist attack which means stocking up on stuff to survive. I'm so bad, 'cause I don't even have water stored! I'll die if a huge quake hits LA anytime soon and catches me unprepared.

God, please keep the ground beneath me as stable as possible...

NOW DAS WAT I'M TALKIN' BOUT!

I'd like to see him try! I really honestly would! Elton John wants to make a hip hop album! CAN YOU IMAGINE?! THAT WOULD BE A TRIP! He can do it too. This is one legendary amazing genius who has been active now for four decades and counting. Now that he's older, he's definitely got the deeper voice to quite possibly pull it off!

We can't deny the popularity of hip hop music these days. Mariah Carey came back BIG with her last album and Nelly Furtado has re-invented herself too with her latest project and is doing quite well. The youth of America loves this music and I often see it reflected on the charts. I'm not a big hip hop fan myself, but there are some very good talented artists out there putting out some really cool stuff.

Read more about Elton's idea here:

http://today.reuters.com/news/articlenews.aspx?type=entertainmentNews&storyid=2006-08-25T221547Z_01_N25234227_RTRUKOC_0_US-LEISURE-ELTON.xml&src=rss&rpc=22

HAPPINESS IS A WARM GUN.

Are you happy? I mean, be honest with yourself. Are you? I try to be, but I often feel bummed out. Perhaps most do, which is why there's an incredible amount of alcohol and drug abuse.

I find myself always whining and complaining about my life, when in all reality, I am quite blessed. Spoiled even. I have a job (despite the sea of morons), a decent car, a roof over my head, food, relatively decent health, am fairly smart, and have good friends and a decent family. I live in a fairly progressive country that is pretty rich compared to most of the world's very poor.

And yet, day in and out, I often ponder if it couldn't be better. Could I not be earning more money? Have a better job? Live in a better place? Travel more? Be more organized? I know there is always room for improvement, but I am much too hard on myself, and I know I shouldn't be. This is the cause of much of my unhappiness; often, I live vicariously through the success of others, which I know is a big mistake. Why does Justin Timberlake get to be so rich and famous and oh at such a young age? Why couldn't that be me?! DAMN HIM! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL! I often stupidly think that if I were rich and did not have to worry about working so much, I'd be happier. Perhaps only temporarily so. But JAYSUS, money sure would help. Oh God yes!

Even worse, is when I start to judge my physical appearance. I don't think I'm an ugly dude by any means, but I am often very critical of my looks. I wasn't blessed with the best skin (oily as hell, but good for wrinkles though), often feel much too thin, and hate the idea of having to age and get older. The gray hairs are starting to show, the birthdays are coming much sooner than before, and the idea of my face and body transforming into an old man is really quite scary to me. VANITY RIGHT? And yet, others say I look fine, and should be happy, but there I am: my own worst critic. I dunno why. Early parental conditioning perhaps? Yeah, can't forget the way we were brought up huh? UGH!

And the fact that I got cursed with stupid anxiety disorder which hits me like a freight train at times really sucks. The source of probably most of my unhappiness really. It has kept me from taking more risks, and of being more adventurous. I'm still functional in the real world (thanks to medication), but I find it very demoralizing and frustrating to not be more bold and always worry about having a panic attack.

Being gay was also a great source of my previous unhappiness, but recently having come out of the closet more has helped that issue a bit more. I'll always run into intolerance and people who hate me, and I guess I'll be okay with that, as long as they don't decide to bash my head in or hang me from a fence like a scarecrow.

Alas, I don't know why I should be sharing my issues like this really. I'm sure y'all have yours.

It's just that mine are the ones that matter.

HAHA!

UNSOLVED MYSTERIES.

I gotta agree with Scotty on this one: why all the attention all of a sudden on this nasty frightening creep that has been dominating media outlets non-stop all weekend?! What are we being distracted from?! Just posting his pic alone gives me the heebie-jeebies, but there he is, staring at the world looking like some sick gangly alien of some sort. EEK! That crazy radio guy Michael Savage today called him The Pervert on the Plane and I just hollered out laughing!

Now there's fucking doubts as to whether his confession is real or not, and that all this hype over finally having found JonBenet's real killer is nothing but bologna! My God, the news coverage on this has been ridiculous, to the point of even covering his arrival at LAX last night! You'd think Jesus or The Beatles were aboard that God damned plane the way they were carrying on about the landing!!! A case that has been unresolved for ten years, Patsy Ramsey dies of cancer just this past year, and now this shit.

No killer caught yet in Chandra Levy's case yet huh? Remember her? It was the big freakin' story all summer long of 2001, and Gary Condit was in hot water for his affair with her and what he possibly had to do with her murder and crap, and then came the WTC/Pentagon Disaster of Our Lifetimes Day and there went that story, until a bit later when they found her bones amidst the squirrels at some park, yet still no main suspect in that case. Hmmm...

And speaking of unresolved, can someone please tell me whatever happened with the Anthrax Attacks and those letters that were mailed out back in 2001? REMEMBER THAT?! Just a week after 9/11, and those laced letters were showing up in the Senate and crap & infected quite a few people with that deadly powder, and killed some five people! WHO THE HELL DID THIS??!! DID THEY EVER FIND OUT WHO??!! My co-worker says she read somewhere one of the 9/11 hijackers (Mohammed Atta) had set this anthrax attack up in Dearborn, MI before executing his most dastardly attack that 9/11 morning. Whoever it was, they got away with it, and scared us all from our regular mail for quite a while.

Man oh man. There's some real sick evil twisted people in this world. And sometimes, they get away with it (a la Jack the Ripper) and we're left scratching our heads.

Which is most disturbing indeed.

I FORGOT TO POST MY FAVORITE ONE OF THEM ALL:

THIS SHIT IS SAD, AND REALLY FUNNY AT THE SAME TIME!

OH THE HUMANITY!

I dunno man. I used to really enjoy working here, for the first two years or so...

Now past five years and tragically counting, I started realizing how lame some of the morons here are! My supervisor hails from India, and has got the intelligence of a goat at the petting zoo. Yet, she still supervises me! The supervisor above her is a hard worker and all, but she's got a horrible attitude, and so I often ignore talking to the c*nt. The other clerk has mood swings often, and one day she's all happy and the next she's a real bitch, and I've just about had it trying to figure out what day she's on! The social workers can be real pretentious uppity conceited assholes who think that just because they have a Bachelor's or Master's that they're better than a simple little clerk like myself, so I often hear them talk down to me or others as if they have a right. The gay guys here are mostly drama queens, and can sometimes act worse than the women even. I dunno, there is so much dysfunction here, it's quite revolting. Comes with having a government job I guess.

There's plenty of foreigners here, people who've learned English as a second language with stupid backward ideas from their old countries. I've heard the ex-Soviet Armenian say how homosexuality is wrong, the other Armenian say how the Soviets saved humanity during WWII (even though it was the USA that did it), the Vietnamese who was put off the phones because her English is not clear enough, and there's the Salvadoran woman who thinks abortion is sinful. I hate to sound xenophobic, but sometimes these people irk me. They really effin' do. Even though I'm the offspring myself of immigrants, I HATE THE BACKWARD IDEAS AND CRAP SOME OF THESE PEOPLE COME HERE TO AMERICA WITH! UGH! And they are so critical of the United States too, which is even more annoying! THEN WHY DID THEY COME HERE?! Thank God for us new generations I guess...

Well, never one to keep his yap shut (although many times I have let things go), I've reached a point of semi-apathy. I don't care to call in sick anymore even if I am not, for I do have plenty of time on the books. I don't work as hard as I once did, because all they'll do is take advantage of you here. I often tell others off (as respectfully as possible, though not always) when they try to be sarcastic or a smart ass with me. I especially hate nosey co-workers who wanna know why I wasn't at work a certain day and they act as if concerned. GET A LIFE! I'm not a bad dude and am quite goofy and silly, but I feel I have no choice sometimes to just be a plain mean asshole when the time is right. I don't want these mothereffers and beatches ta think I'm stupid or dumb, and that they can walk all over me. It's sad that humanity teaches one to be like this, instead of making one a better person. I often feel bad about behaving like them, but they leave me no choice for being so petty themselves.

EF THAT. I'm very smart and talented, and Lord knows I should not be working here. Alas, other issues have kept me trapped here, but that's another story. The point is, I do not mind my job, IT'S THE FACKIN' PEOPLE I HAVE TO DEAL WITH. I have to work and support myself, which leaves me no choice for now but to deal with most of these sorry ass f*cks. I know I sound pretentious when saying this, but DAMNIT, I know I don't belong here. And yet, I know what I'm dealing with here already; another one of these office jobs will only introduce me to a new set of LOSERS, which is the last thing I want. Will I ever find a job where I don't feel surrounded by the masses of stupidity? I need to be creative or artistic. This office cubicle shit is quite boring and dead end. I only do it to pay my bills. Lucky you fellow reader who loves what u do. This is rare I believe.

I imagine most of us deal with this at our jobs. Which is sad. I'm sure many think I'm a moron and useless here too. But I go out of my way to admit who I am, by being as honest and real as possible. I hate hypocrisy and two-faced people. And that is soooooooooo prevalent here and in most workplaces I'm afraid to say. I hate capitalism sometimes, for forcing me to be amongst these dumbasses I would never wanna be around in my spare time. WHY DEAR GOD WHY? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!

Thank God for Howard Stern on Sirius in the mornings, for the few decent folk here at work, for my Ipod, getting laid, laughter, sleep, good food, friends, animals, those I love, and my weekends.

Were it not for that, Idda thrown myself out of our fourth floor window here at work long ago...

"OOPS, I DID IT AGAIN!"

"Hey Britney! You say you wanna lose control...
come ova here I got somethin' to show ya!" --Madonna

And lose control she has! Read about and watch this video please:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/showbiz/showbiznews.html?in_article_id=400109&in_page_id=1773

Wow.

NOW FLYING REALLY SUCKS.

I used to like flying actually. Back in the mid 90's that is. Then that little piece of shit anxiety struck me, and the thought of being in a plane confined with all those others on board made me cringe.

September 11 didn't help, but miraculously I was able to fly out to New Orleans and back two years in a row just before Hurricane Katrina. Now look at the latest scare. Security now is extra extra tight, thanks to the airliner bomb plot that was uncovered by the Brits and has made headlines the world over. Flying now seems like a real annoying chore.

Hmmm...me wonders and scratches my head. I do hate to be cynical, but...

Important election coming up in November, I wonder if this isn't all a way to get Bush and crew some much needed support for their failure in Iraq. After all, this is a fantastic way to scare the masses, instill fear once again, and get the public convinced of the great job being done by our administration to stop these Islamic heathens from shredding us to bloody bits.

So kids: no mouthwash, toothpaste, lipstick, lube, hair gel, hairspray, box cutters, sharp scissors, bottled water, iPod, and many other things we could conveniently take on board before, will be allowed onto the plane. Makes for a really inconvenient and frustrating trip. These are the sick and atrocious times we live in. The "Islamic Fascists" are hungry to kill themselves and others in the process. They just don't care now do they? This is really pissing people off, including our beloved Sandra Bernhardt! HAHA!

It still boggles my mind that I could still be this young and witness this madness that our world has become.

If I have to get on a plane again, Imma take me a good strong sleeping pill or a couple of drinks and say good night. Wake me up when the plane lands.

That is, if I don't get blown up in midair.

Christ.

WE MISS LINDA.

Whoa there!

Looks like Paul McCartney's divorce from the one-legged chippy is starting to get oogly. Yeah, the locks were changed on the bitch, and her accounts frozen by Macca. This is really a shame, because they share a two year-old, and Paul did not sign a pre-nup, so ya know the amount of money Heather is going to get is gonna be astronomical. All that glorious songwriting, album sales, and touring has made Paul a very wealthy man worth 1.5 billion.

Which brings me to good ole' Linda McCartney. What a shame to have lost such an amazing towering figure in Paul's life. The mother of most of his kids, his wife for close to thirty years, she toured the world with him while a member of Wings, and was the inspiration for many of his really great songs during his post-Beatles career. Linda married Paul in 1969 and they were virtually inseparable until that evil fuckin' cancer claimed her life back in 1998. HOW BLOODY AWFUL AND UNFAIR!

She was a vegetarian too! She lived a relatively healthy lifestyle and convinced Paul to stop eating meat, and then comes that shitty disease and kills her. I know Paul was devastated as were many fans, who really liked Linda lots as one of the nicest and most down-to-earth Beatles wives, unlike that annoying bitch Yoko Ono.

I guess Paul was trying hard to start over with Heather, but alas, it was not meant to be. There was and only will be one Linda forever. You now know the pain and stress of divorce Sir Paul, for the first time ever.

Your true muse, your real friend, and true wife is long gone...

"Maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you
Baby I'm a man and maybe I'm a lonely man
Who's in the middle of something
That he doesn't really understand
Babe I'm a man and maybe you're the only woman
Who could ever help me
Baby won't you help to me understand"

ENDLESS DOUBTS ABOUT THE MOST HISTORIC DAY OF THE MODERN ERA: 9/11/01.

Oliver Stone's new film comes out this week and is getting decent reviews as a wonderful tribute to the heroes of that shocking day.

However, do you believe the official 9/11 story?

Ya know, the official version being that four planes were hijacked, two were crashed into the World Trade Center which collapsed from the burning jet fuel, while one went into the Pentagon, and the other into a field in Pennsylvania. I guess most Americans did believe the official story for a good few weeks after the horrific event, but nearly five years on, a vast amount of people out there believe there is a conspiracy at work here, if not several.

I myself have some doubts mind you. How were they able to hijack four freakin' planes so seemingly easily as they did? With box cutters?! I dunno man. I guess anything's possible and Americans were truly naive of the possible evil from extremist Muslims, but it bugs me to no end that not one, but FOUR FREAKIN' PLANES were so effectively taken over that morning. Second, where tha hell was the Air Force to shoot those suckers down? I can tolerate the first plane that went into the WTC, but the second one was given fifteen more minutes or so to find its target and go into the South Tower to the horror of millions watching on TV. HOW?!

Even more questions arise with the final two hijacked aircraft. So many feel the Pentagon story is loaded with holes. Was it truly a plane? Why has the footage from cameras on the ground been so bad? Could it have been a missile? And the final plane that crashed into that field arouses even more suspicion. Did those people on board really take the hijackers down or was that plane shot down? Why did the plane disintegrate upon impact and leave hardly, if any wreckage?

Then there's people who question the WTC collapse itself. Many feel it was a controlled demolition, and that explosives were placed in the building prior, then detonated to bring the buildings down. The list of anomalies and possible conspiracy theories are endless: the government knew and let it happen, Bush was way too comfortable at that school, and it was all a pretext to go to war in the Middle East.

We know what we saw. We saw those two planes hit the WTC for sure, the towers burning, people tragically jumping to their deaths, and thousands killed as the towers came down. This we cannot dispute. They are images that will forever haunt us till the day we die.

But so many questions remain unanswered for so many, including me to be honest. We will never forget the 3,000 or so victims of this monumental tragedy which has forever changed our lives and that of the world entire.

Some out there buy the official story, many others do not.

Just what really happened?

Further reading:

http://www.scholarsfor911truth.org/

http://wtc.nist.gov/

http://www.debunking911.com/

http://www.infowars.com/martial_law_911.htm

http://www.freepressinternational.com/911.html

http://www.911truth.org/

http://www.tvnewslies.org/html/9_11_facts.html

A MUG SHOT WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS.

¿ADIOS FIDEL?

This is one dude who made history alright. Admired by few, and hated by most, Fidel Castro is either on his last legs or has already bought the farm, though it is being denied.

In power since 1959 folks! Can you imagine?! 47 years as the ruler of Cuba? If that ain't a dictatorship, I dunno what is. The recent "temporary" transfer of power to his brother Raúl is a good indication that Fidel's stomach surgery or whatever tha hell he's going through is very serious. Time to meet your maker Fidelito! You're old and pretty outdated man.

Yeah, you were purty cool in the 1960's. You stood up to American Imperialism very effectively, you gave some real fiery speeches, and the crowds adored you. The Soviets had your back, and ya almost sent the world into nuclear holocaust back in '62. I mean, Fidel was tha man! A really powerful figure who will forever be remembered by his military green outfit, that hat, and of course, the beard!

Now look at him. Completely irrelevant, worn out, and delusional. Many of the Miami/Florida Cubans have been dancing on the streets hoping for any news of Fidel kicking the bucket, and I can understand why they hate him so much and feel their island nation was robbed of its capitalistic potential under the old tyrannical rule of communism. But I find it kinda silly really. More so, if it's a U.S. born 20 year-old of Cuban descent who probably doesn't know shit about Fidel or Havana and was only taught to hate the dude just because it's the cool thing to do.

Even Al Pacino dealt with Fidel! Well, only in the movies really; Godfather Pt. II and Scarface. If ya remember and know what I'm talking about.

My Cuban co-worker thinks he's not dead, and regardless says nothing will change. But Fidel's brother is really old too. How much time hath he got? Something's gotta give.

This will be interesting indeed to see unfold. I gotta say, 2006 started off rather boring in terms of world headlines, but it has now become quite the year.

DON'T EVER GET CAUGHT WITH YOUR PANTS DOWN.

LIVING ON THE EDGE.

"There's somethin' wrong with the world today
I don't know what it is
Something's wrong with our eyes
We're seein' things in a different way
And God knows it ain't his
It shore ain't no surprise." --Aerosmith

Hmmm.

The anger at Israel is great right now. Guy shot up some Jewish Center yesterday and injured several while killing one.

Not good. I fear for this country. Greatly do I fear. The terrorists just got more incentive to strike at all Jewish/American interests. Lebanon has been ruined and may become the new Al-Qaeda playground just like Iraq has. When does Iran get involved and the nukes go off? God help us.

This WWIII shit is not easy nor pretty huh?

I tells ya what IS easy and pretty though! The good things in life! Sex, music, laughter, sleep, and food. My fellow blogger/reader, enjoy these pleasures as much as possible. These are uncertain odd times to be alive. Our future looks bleak and pessimistic to most of us. I say, FUCK all convention and rules...go out and have fun.

Get laid if ya can! GIT FUCKIN' LAID! It's fun, hot, delicious, and makes ya forget that the world is crashing into a wall. The enjoyment of another's body is the absolute best drug around. And if you're on pot (NOT THAT I WOULD KNOW OF COURSE), the sex just gets hotter. MAMA MIA!

I know many of you struggle with weight issues, but have some good food and snacks once in a while. We only live fuckin' once, and to deny yourself that lemon merengue pie or burger just because you gotta watch the lbs. is really dumb. So go exercise it off then! Take a long walk! OR GIT LAID! All great exercise for that just ingested bag o' potato chips that's making u feel guilty.

And music. How soothing to the soul it is. A great tune, a beautiful voice, and arrangement can lift your spirit when it is truly down. So crank up that IPOD. The nuclear bombs are coming; might as well stick those earphones in way deep and enjoy.

A good joke or twisted sense of humor like mine goes a long way ta ease the pain of this current existence. I can laugh at almost anything really, and nothing seems to be off limits to me, only because it's a great way to cope. SO LAUGH IT UP! AHAHAHAHAHAAHAH! Yeah, like that. Laugh till ya can't hold them farts in.

And when all else fails, sleep will do the trick. To be unconscious, is true bliss...

Okay. I've rambled and ranted long enough. I'm pretty fucking crazy I know; I cannot help but see what is going on and not worry a bit. And even if all were well and LA DEE DA, the grim reaper's still coming to get me and you no matter what.

So I work smart and as little as possible, but party and play hard.

After all, what power do we have to truly control what is already wrong and continues to get worse?

Let the fucking Middle East burn.

SOMEHOW, WE ALWAYS KNEW.

Well, well, well.

I ain't no PerezHilton.com, but here I am, probably stating the already obvious fact that N'Sync member Lance Bass finally came out of the closet! And apparently he's with this dude: Leichen Lehmkuhl.

Congrats Lance! It is liberating and removes lots of the stupid pressure don't it? Sucks though that he couldn't do it at the height of the group's amazing popularity. I really find it horrible that so many still have to remain closeted in many respects. Can you imagine how many athletes are still living the lie; many no doubt in baseball or football? Singers, actors, and many others still cannot run the risk of losing fans or their reputation by revealing their sexuality.

I resent heterosexuality at times, and often wish we didn't have to go through this extra struggle. A boy and a girl can hold hands, can make out in public, can express their true love, get married, raise a family and be totally accepted and embraced by all of society without a problem. Well, for the most part that is.

But a gay man?!

Great progress has been made no doubt, but it still fuckin' sucks.

Don't expect Anderson Cooper, Kevin Spacey, Ricky Martin, or Tom Cruise to reveal themselves openly anytime soon.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14042410/

http://www.cnn.com/2006/SHOWBIZ/Music/07/26/people.lancebass.ap/index.html

"IT'S LIKE A HEAT WAVE!"

Holy mole!

We had record-breaking temperatures this past weekend here in LOSS ANGLE-EEZ! I mean, it was probably the hottest I've felt it in years! Since I happen to live in the San Fernando Valley, the heat is usually worse than in LA proper ya know? and at one point on Saturday, it got to 109 degrees!

ABSOLUTELY UNBEARABLE MY GEEKS AND FREAKS! WHEW! My family was sweet enough to take me out to eat Saturday as a belated bday thing, and we went to nearby Burbank where at one point we had to walk two little blocks to get to our restaurant, and that was enough to send us all close to the point of heatstroke. It truly felt like being in Las Vegas; the kinda heat that can really kill you.

And what happens to be rare here in LA is that we usually don't suffer from the horrific humidity that many complain of in other parts of the country, but that has also been a problem lately, especially at nights were there is no relief at all from any breeze or fresh air. The temperature's been staying at an annoying 80 to 90 degrees nightly with nothing but stagnant hot air. It's just hard to breathe man!

This kind of heat is real annoying and the only saving grace is that some hot boys will wander around out there with less and less clothes. YEEHA! Check out those tank tops, shorts, and flip flops baby!

Other than that, we're having the hottest and most uncomfortable summer in this part of the country in years. Fans and air conditioners unite!

Unless we get a blackout, which I hear we're in danger of actually having.

HEEHEE!

JESSE METCALFE MUST LIVE!

----------------I cannot for the life of me understand how this gorgeous, THIS INCREDIBLY GORGEOUS YOUNG MAN, can walk the face of the Earth and not be mauled by people wanting to jump his bones. Or perhaps, he does have that problem huh? He is jaw-droppingly beautiful!

HOT DIGGITY DAMN! I just saw the trailer for his new movie too, John Tucker Must Die, and in every scene of that preview that he is in, he looks absolutely amazing. AMAZING!

What a fuckin' hottie. No wonder he's got so many websites dedicated to him:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesse_Metcalfe

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0582462/

http://jessemetcalfe.net/

http://jessemetcalfe.net/fan/

http://www.geocities.com/kellyfatone/

http://www.hunkymalecelebs.com/jessemetcalfe/

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BLOG! OH YEAH, YOU TOO WAT.

This blog officially turns two years old today!

So, here I am, munching on a bag of pretzels, horny as hell, suffering through this interminable heat wave, and wondering how in tha hell I've been able to maintain this blog for the past two years. I used to bitch and moan about having no readers, now I'm read by millions daily and have become quite the international celebrity!

Thanks to each and every one of you. The goal of this blog is to not only delve into my insane mind, but to also explore and discuss all kinds of topics and issues. I cover it all as much as possible, for it gives me great pleasure (along with a hot blowjob) to inform you with my vast and undeniable genius!

Anyway, enough about my greatness and my giant huge thick penis, it also happens to be my birthday today. Das right dawg. My bloody fuckin' birthday. I have tons of gray hair now! Thank God for Just For Men and my still strong remaining brown hair. I ain't no Anderson Cooper just yet! Chuckle, chuckle!

Feeling pretty silly tonight. I guess I'm trying to forget the tragedy of life. My beloved and only true love's mother passed away yesterday morning. I feel terrible to be honest, but she is better off not suffering anymore. I shall always be grateful I got to meet her and thank her for having given birth to him; he is a true angel and I shall love him till the day I die. Rest in peace mom darling, for it is a place we are all headed to eventually.

So with the world in strange chaos and uncertainty, and George Bush the greatest president in our history (I added that to see if you're paying attention & ready to hurl), till next time faithful reader.

Damn, this heat makes me soooo horny! LOL!

THE TIME HAS COME TO CLEAN HOUSE.

Ya gotta read this article:

Gingrich says it's World War III

In relation to this, I was just speaking to my co-worker John (not his real name) who was born and raised in Iran. I'm paraphrasing here, but this is basically what he just told me:

"I was born in Iran. I left when I was about 27 years old. I had to get out of that shit country when that son of a bitch Satan Khomeini came into power sometime in 1979. Thank goodness I got out of there when I did. Any rational human being with the ability to leave that place would have done the same thing. You have no idea how insane these Muslims are. I don't think Americans realize how deadly and crazy these people are. They are evil! They need to be eliminated, and what Israel is doing currently and what America has been up to in Iraq is a good thing. I don't think many see what a great thing Bush is doing here. They criticize him every chance they get, but have no idea that what he is trying to do here. It's time to clean house, and I am glad that world governments are finally taking action against this evil. You have no idea how insane and fanatic these people truly are! Jimmy Carter is a stupid idiot! Fuck him one million times over! He had the chance then to stop Khomeini and this growing threat of terrorism back in the late 70s and he did nothing! He kept saying it was all about human rights and spewing nothing but peaceloving garbage! The other presidents after him did nothing either, and it's only now that George W. Bush finally has the balls to put an end to this very dangerous and serious threat to world peace and stability. 9/11 could have been prevented had they taken care of this problem years ago, but it's never too late, and I am glad that something is being done now, with Iran especially being the worst most terrorist government there is. They are the sponsors of Hamas, Hezbollah, and other terrorists. This has to be stopped, and what is happening right now with Israel is exactly part of the bigger picture/plan. These crazy Muslims will not stop until the whole world becomes their religion. They boast about how slowly but surely they've immigrated and taken over lots of European countries, they will not cease until they can continue converting the whole world to their religion. This is most certainly a religious war and these bastards must be stopped."

O.k. You read what John said. Please tell us how you REALLY feel.

GULP!

"WAR! WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR?! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! HOO!"

Ah yes. The beginnings of a terrible war is upon us; perhaps a global conflict.

Ya see what's unfolding in the Middle East kiddies? Nothing new since the creation of Israel frankly, but this time the stakes are higher and the danger is truly frightening. There are nuclear weapons here, not just by Israel, but most likely now owned by Iran itself, which is oh so close to going to war with their mortal enemy.

All of the present leaders in that region (including the current Israeli prime minister) want to use the war option it seems. The relatively peaceful 1990's are but a memory, as the Israeli attacks on Hezbollah and Hamas strongholds continues and their subsequent retaliation only gets worse.

Have the Jews been terrorized and picked on by their terrorist neighbors for decades? Yes. But in turn, have the Jews not committed their own set of atrocities too? Indeed. I cannot dismiss either side and their guilt. Both sides are to blame, but at this point who cares anymore. The current crisis went overboard when the Israelis went for the kill over one of their kidnapped soldiers, which seems drastic to me, but it's too late.

The terrorists in that region are loving this. The leader of Iran is biding his time and anxiously awaiting to commit a real stupid move as in perhaps using a nuclear weapon. Israel has that option as well, so the potential for all of this to only get worse is there.

If you're in America thinking this crap is not going to affect us, kid yourself no longer. This is serious, grave, and extremely dangerous for that region, the United States, and the world. This is how world wars are unleashed.

And of course, the price of gas will only go up.

CRAP.

WAT HAS 8567 FRIENDS.

I was very reluctant to join MySpace for a good while, but was finally convinced by my pretty girl/wifey MJ to get an account, and so I signed up in February. I have my reservations though. Seems like many on on there are looking for their cheap fifteen minutes of fame, to be noticed, to be popular, or at least appear to be. Some really do use it as a popularity contest, almost like high school or something! BLAH!

Mind you, I like MySpace so far for a variety of reasons. It's free, ya get to stay in touch with friends whom you rarely see anymore, and in my case, it actually helped me come out of the closet when some of my family members ran into my page. When used to keep in touch with people you really know and have met in the past, or are still dealing with in your present, the service works well and is quite enjoyable.

HOWEVER:

I run into so many pages of people who have a set of friends in the hundreds, if not thousands! How in tha hell does one individual know so many people, let alone keep in touch realistically with all of them?! Unless you're a big star with a huge fanbase, I doubt your regular average Joe Smith with a MySpace set of 5,768 friends can truly keep in touch with all those people. Does Joe Smith really even freakin' know so many human beings? I find it lame to just add people for addition's sake, as if you're trying to build up your friends list for the sole purpose of appearing loved or popular.

I won't be an ass and deny anyone who's trying to meet me or add me on as a friend. I've actually met some cool people on there. But one has to be realistic and clean up that friends list from time to time and delete many on there who are just there taking up space. Taking up space on MySpace! HAHA! I got some forty friends or so on my list, and for the most part I'd say the vast majority of them really mean something to me. If anyone is on there just because it makes me appear loved and crap, then out they go! I get a lot of webcam slutty girls and gay dudes that wanna join my list a lot. DELETE THEM I SAY!

Everyone now is a musician, actor, poet, writer...you name it! Everybody's talented and special. Or at least wants to be. Hell, I too am probably guilty of it by now. I got this blog and a MySpace page. I TOO WANT TO BE NOTICED DAMNIT! ACKNOWLEDGED! A LITTLE BIT FAMOUS! AND CERTAINLY POPULAR! LOLOL!

For (let's be honest now) why else do we do it right?

SUPERMAN, WHERE ART THOU?

I went to see Superman Returns this past week, and while I liked the film in general, I was a little divided over certain aspects of the picture. I defy anyone who sees this movie to not think of the first two original Superman films and not miss them terribly, for I sure did!

Without spoiling it for anyone who hasn't seen it:

Pros: Brandon Routh is a good choice; adorable, handsome, and eerily reminiscent of the late amazing Chris Reeves. Kevin Spacey is also decent as Lex Luthor. Some of the action scenes are pretty clever and well done too.

Cons: Kate Bosworth makes a terrible Lois Lane. Pretty to look at, but she ain't got much of an attitude or heart in the role. The little boy in the film seemed like an emotional added-on feature which was okay I guess, but left me kinda...eh. The CGI effects were way too glossy and noticeable at times, but this is a common complaint I have about many movies nowadays. And the plot holes and story itself left me unconvinced many times over.

Which brings me to Superman: The Movie and Superman II. The 1978 and 1980 film are now true classics, and when watching the new version, one cannot help but be nostalgic and really miss what the cast and crew of those two original flicks did. Christopher Reeve is forever and undeniably immortalized as Clark Kent and his alter ego. I say, what a legacy this brave and courageous soul left: to actually command a role so thoroughly that subsequent generations cannot actually let go of the character he so brilliantly played! Margot Kidder as Lois Lane? Phenomenal! True heart, soul, and attitude baby! Gene Hackman as Lex Luthor was just plain hilarious and the three super villains led by Terrence Stamp are knockouts. That this new 2006 version tries to connect itself to those first two is to be commended, but at the same time one cannot help but resent it for perhaps trying too hard and falling short. Maybe I'm being too critical, for how can one recapture greatness that is long gone and past right?

Newer generations will probably like this version lots. It's got good looking new actors, expensive special effects, and can keep them entertained just fine for about two and a half hours. They've probably run across the first two films casually on cable or something and could care less about some of the outdated special effects and see them as old relics which desperately needed an update.

But for those of us old enough to remember (like the original Star Wars Trilogy), we cannot forget the magic, the chemistry of those fine actors, the forever embedded images, glorious John Williams score, and overall fun of the first two Superman films.

It makes ya wanna run out and get them on DVD for sure.

YOU CAN NEVER BE TOO RICH OR TOO THIN.

I wanna understand how it is freakin' possible for the visionaries in this incredibly capitalistic country/world of ours to make such enormous fortunes! It is staggering to me how much money these people end up making. Isn't all this money just way too much for one person anyway?!

Warren Buffet just donated some $40 billion to charity and will keep a mere $2 billion of his wealth. After all, the old guy figures his life has been very blessed and he doesn't really have that much longer to live realistically. He should be commended for such an honorable and noble decision.

Of course, there's Bill Gates, to whom we owe the Microsoft Empire. Another filthy rich human being with the world's greatest personal fortune of only: $46.6 billion. My God man! At one point, his wealth actually reached $100 billion! That is so jaw-dropping, but it's also nice to see Gates and his wife being active in charity work. One would hope right? It would really suck if they were so greedy as to not help others! Not that they have to, but it is cool that they do.

Kirk Kerkorian practically owns Las Vegas. The guy has a stake in most of the hotels/casinos on the famous Strip such as the Mirage, Excalibur, Bellagio, and New York, New York. What a great freakin' town to make money in huh? Ironic for sure.

The famous and sometimes hated Walton family: owners of that awful shithole Wal-Mart. I would rather go to Target any day, but there's no denying Sam Walton started an empire allright with his God awful cheap discount superstore which now dots the American landscape like an eyesore.

Ya also got that Mark Cuban guy who owns the Dallas Mavericks. Uh huh. An NBA team. What a cool deal. Started as poor nobody and now look at him. Ya may not have heard of Cuban, but he's rich! Filthy rich! And here I am telling you about it, with a bit of envy as I run through all these wealthy heathens!

Gee. You're a poor mother on welfare, so why not come up with a fantasy story about a boy wizard who goes to a school to learn techniques in witchcraft and sell books to children the world over by the millions? That's exactly what J.K. Rowling has done with her Harry Potter series. Then came the films and she's now worth about a billion. Yada, yada, yada...

And there's the late great Aaron Spelling whose widow is now putting up their opulent gorgeous palatial estate up for sale at a cool $150 million. Wow. Donald Trump comes in with a personal fortune of about $2 billion bucks while Paul McCartney, Martha Stewart, and Oprah are all worth about $1 billion each. Nice.

What tha hell am I doing wrong?! Everything apparently! What tha hell do these people have in them to bring such tremendous wealth and success into their lives? I desperately wanna know their secret!

WHAT THA HELL DO I NEED TO DO TO REACH THESE ASTRONOMICAL HEIGHTS? Frankly, I'm sick of my regular job, of doing boring work, and of not really going anywhere.

I need a vision. Oh please God, do I need a vision...

HAPPY 4TH EVERYBODY!

LOVE. EL AMOR. L'AMOUR.

How cool is this?!

The Mirage Hotel/Casino in Las Vegas officially premiered its Cirque Du Soleil Beatles-themed show last night called Love. Apparently, Paul, Ringo, Yoko, and Olivia Harrison were all there last night for the grand opening.

Hope they all got along. Hee hee!

The reviews for the show are phenomenal. A true visual and audio feast from what I've been reading with a completely digitally remastered set of old classic Beatles tunes mixed and blended for a new kind of sound experience.

I can't wait to see this! I'm a true Beatles fan of course, and the ticket is a little pricey, but entertainment is expensive these days. So, time to save up and head to Vegas when it cools down a bit more.

Cause the heat there right now is killer.